Contrary to what most people like to think, your average maniac is just an honest person trying to get by in a world that doesn’t much suit them.

Manifesto of the Maniac.

The Maniac’s Mantra

Pretending to not be a maniac

Famous Maniacs

Famous Maniac’s Pets

Famous Maniac Inventions

Some not so famous Maniac Inventions

Famous Phoney Maniac’s

How to Spot a Maniac.

How to become a Maniac.

How to shout Rah!

Bombs Knives Guns Rocks whatever comes to hand

Drool

Droppings in the mail

Crazed Demented Foaming Deadly Polluted Screaming Scary

Diary of a Maniac

Famous Maniacs

There are ofcourse many famous maniacs and to list them all here would be a tiresome and undending task. We shall name only those who are self confessed maniacs and only hint strongly about those who aren’t self confessed.

NAPOLEON. Clear cut case of maniacism. Common condition amongst maniacs. Thought his name was ‘Napoleon.’

ADOLF HITLER Kind of your text book maniac in a lot of ways. A little too successful if anything. Cruel, also. Terribly cruel. But a lot of maniacs are.

LEONARDO DA VINCI. Utter nutter. Absolutely. Stories about pet lizards, scary stuff. Incredible mind- a sure fire sign.

JOHN F KENNEDY Killed by a maniac, I believe.

MARQUIS DE SADE Textbook..

HENRY MILLER. Driven mad. (By himself)

VINCENT VAN GOGH Am I allowed to say this? Is it too bad a faux pas?

FRIEDRICH NIETZCHE Loon.

JEAN CLAUDE ARTHUR RIMBAUD Occasional Mania with extended burst of normality. Arrogant little shit. Would’ve had the pulp beaten out of him in the post modern world.

WHITMAN, WALT

Don’t stop at nothing; neither should you stop at something.

If you’re not currently a maniac, or don’t believe yourself to be one, then there are a number of things that you can do to try and eleviate this uncomfortable situation. Some people, however, are genetically predisposed to a certain ‘resistance’ to maniacal behaviour. Such people should seek a far more basic text, hopefully one that only deals with the underlying principles of becoming a simple maniac- not the more rigorous and technical maniacism which we hope to achieve with the following exercise. Those who have no access to any junior texts on the matter, might begin simply by embarking on a series of self-governed exercises in maniacal laughter.

For the more advanced there is the Maniac’s Mantra. Be warned however, that it may infact seem easy, while ultimately it proves the most difficult maniac tecnique that there is. The trick, as always, lies not in the ability to annunciate the mantra, but in the ability to utterly and totally understand it.

Repeat the for five minutes each morning (preferably while looking into the mirror)

Every day in every way I’m getting rah! rah! Rah! Rah! RAH!

Every day in every way I’m getting rah! rah! Rah! Rah! RAH!

Every day in every way I’m getting rah! rah! Rah! Rah! RAH!

Every day in every way I’m getting rah! rah! Rah! Rah! RAH!

If you don’t have time for that then you might take the time, instead, to repeat the following mantra in front of the mirror for five minutes each morning:

Every day in every way I’m getting rah! rah! Rah! Rah! RAH!

Shouting at the top of your lungs while on a bus or in an elevator is fairly typical maniac behaviour, but so is sitting quietly. If you shout too much you might over shoot the mark and people may begin to think you’re plain crazy. And that is not what we’re all about, here in the Maniac’s Handbook.

The final step, in becoming a maniac, is to do away altogether with all the things that helped you become a maniac. You must be a maniac purely for the sake of mania. The maniac’s maniac. Be a spontaneous maniac. An unlikely maniac. An intoxicating maniac. A maniac possessed of unbounded mania. Take your mania into the streets. Be a maniac at times when those around you have forgotten how. And most importantly, Be Your Own Maniac.